McGee and Molly

Originally Aired: April 23, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #245, "How To Hang A Picture,"
In this episode, Fibber and Molly find themselves locked in a spirited domestic dispute over the proper way to hang a picture. Fibber insists the bottom should be at eye level, citing the expertise of a fictional Professor Roger J. Hemingway, while Molly counters with the authority of an equally fictional Dr. William Folteney Banderplug. Unable to resolve their argument, the couple decides to seek professional advice at the local art museum, hoping an expert can settle the matter once and for all.
Their quest for answers proves more complicated than expected. Along the way, they encounter the Old Timer, who offers his usual cryptic wisdom, and an overly intellectual artist at the museum whose elaborate explanation about psychic balance and aesthetic relationships only leaves them more confused. Mrs. Uppington makes an appearance at the museum, dripping with cultured superiority, as Fibber and Molly navigate the world of high art in search of a simple answer to their household dilemma.

Originally Aired: April 16, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #244, "Ink Stains On The Carpet," Fibber accidentally shakes his fountain pen and splatters ink all over the living room carpet, creating an enormous mess. What starts as one spot quickly multiplies as McGee continues to shake the pen, making matters worse with each attempt. Determined to fix the problem himself, Fibber tries various harebrained remedies including the salt and milk method, which only succeeds in creating a soggy, discolored disaster on the floor.
As Molly frantically brings more supplies and the Old Timer stops by to deliver his usual commentary, McGee's increasingly desperate solutions grow more absurd. When he finally hits upon the idea of cutting the stained section out of the carpet to take to a chemist for analysis, Molly realizes her husband's remedy might be worse than the original problem. The episode also celebrates the show's five-year anniversary on the air for Johnson's Wax, with the McGees reminiscing about their rocky start in radio.

Originally Aired: April 9, 1940
In Fibber McGee & Molly #243, "Homecoming," the McGees are returning to Wistful Vista aboard a bus after their triumphant appearance on the Lux Radio Theater in Hollywood. As they approach town, still hungry and arguing over their last ham sandwich, they spot a brass band, streamers, and banners gathered at the railroad station. Fibber quickly concludes that the whole town has turned out to welcome them home as conquering celebrities. There's just one problem: the crowd is clearly waiting for someone arriving on the streamlined train, and the McGees came home on the bus.
Never one to let reality get in the way of glory, Fibber concocts a plan to sneak home, freshen up, prepare some modest speeches, and return to the station in time to disembark from the train they never boarded. Along the way, they encounter the delightfully befuddling little girl who engages Fibber in her trademark circular logic about Hollywood, washing, and whether such a place even exists. As the McGees rush to pull off their scheme, the question remains whether the homecoming celebration is really meant for them at all.

Originally Aired: March 26, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #241, "Property Line Dispute," Fibber is hard at work digging a trench in his backyard to plant a new hedge when neighbor Gildersleeve arrives with an accusation that stops him in his tracks. Gildersleeve insists that Fibber is digging three feet onto Gildersleeve's property, claiming the lot line runs from the telephone pole in the alley to the slippery elm out front. Fibber indignantly denies the charge, and the two nearly come to blows before Molly sensibly suggests they hire a surveyor to settle the matter. Both men agree, though Fibber insists on finding the surveyor himself since he doesn't trust Gildersleeve. While waiting for the surveyor to arrive, the McGees receive a visit from a little girl taking a shortcut through their house on her way to buy meat for her prize-winning dog Margaret, who apparently ate too much of his ten-pound prize at the dog show and is now under the weather.

Originally Aired: March 19, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #240, "Dog License," Fibber receives an alarming registered letter from the City License Bureau demanding he obtain a 1940 dog license within two days or face a hefty fine and possible jail time. There's just one problem: the McGees haven't owned a dog in seven years! Furious at what he perceives as bureaucratic incompetence, Fibber declares war on the "pickle push politicians" at City Hall and vows they won't make a monkey out of him. He attempts to call the City Hall to complain, but operator Mert informs him the lines are jammed because everyone's speculating about whether "Izzy" will run for a third term.
Determined to straighten out this mess in person, Fibber and Molly prepare to march down to the License Bureau. Along the way, they encounter a chatty little girl with her Easter bunny named Esther, which leads to a confusing Abbott and Costello-style exchange about whether the rabbit is male or female. As the McGees head off to confront the city bureaucrats, Fibber insists he'll do all the talking and show those "city hall dumbbells" they can't push him around.

Originally Aired: March 12, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #239, "Make A Pal Of Your Wife Week,"
Fibber McGee decides to celebrate "Make a Pal of Your Wife Week" by taking Molly out to lunch, calculating that it's cheaper than flowers or candy. Molly is delightfully surprised by the sudden invitation after fifteen years of marriage, though she needs time to get ready while Fibber receives a visit from Teeny, the neighborhood boy trying to sell soap. When the couple prepares to leave, they encounter the uppity Mrs. Uppington on her daily walk, who mentions she's lunching with Billy Mills at a quiet, exclusive restaurant with fine French cuisine.
This prompts Fibber to launch into one of his trademark tongue-twisting boasts about his expertise with food, claiming he was known as "Kitchenette McGee" in his youth. He delivers an elaborate alliterative monologue about his knowledge of cooking and cuisine, demonstrating the kind of comic exaggeration that constantly gets him into trouble. The episode showcases the warmth between Fibber and Molly while highlighting the class differences with their neighbor Mrs. Uppington.

Originally Aired: March 5, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #238, "Cleaning Hall Closet,"
In this classic episode, Molly insists on cleaning out the infamous hall closet at 79 Wistful Vista after its contents come crashing down on her when Fibber opens the door. What starts as a search for a dictionary turns into a full-scale archeological dig through Fibber's treasure trove of supposed necessities, including rusty horseshoes, trout flies, and a three-legged tabouret from manual training class. Fibber stubbornly defends every item, insisting he's arranged everything just the way he wants it and that nothing can be thrown away.
As the McGees sort through the avalanche of belongings, they're interrupted by various Wistful Vista neighbors, including a precocious little girl with confusing stories about her baby brother and Mr. Oldtimer looking for a room to rent. Through the chaos of accumulated odds and ends, Molly discovers an old dance program from their courting days, leading to sweet reminiscences about waltzes, turkey trots, and a romantic evening that ended with chocolate-covered cherries and ruined white pants.

Originally Aired: February 27, 1940
In Fibber McGee & Molly #237, "Molly's Chinchilla Coat," Molly is eager to show off her new Siberian chinchilla fur coat around the neighborhood, despite Fibber's protests that it's too warm for such extravagant outerwear. When Fibber needs a button sewn on his shirt, Molly realizes she's out of white thread and must run to the ten cent store, giving her the perfect excuse to parade around town in her luxurious new purchase. As the McGees head out, Molly gets her wish when they encounter the snobbish Mrs. Uppington, leading to a deliciously catty exchange where compliments barely mask mutual disdain and barbed insults fly beneath a veneer of politeness.
The couple then runs into their neighbor Mr. Gildersleeve, who notices that Fibber appears to be catching cold in his insufficient turtleneck sweater. This sparks the typical contentious banter between Fibber and Gildersleeve, with Fibber defensively insisting he's a lifelong snappy dresser and launching into one of his trademark tongue-twisting alliterative monologues about his sartorial prowess, leaving everyone breathless.

Originally Aired: February 20, 1940
In Fibber McGee & Molly #236, "Fibber Must Tell The Truth," Fibber is rehearsing a speech about George Washington and his ideals that he plans to deliver to a fourth-grade class. When Molly questions whether her famously truth-challenged husband could be honest for even an hour, Fibber defensively takes the bait. They make a bold wager: a box of cigars against the fur coat Molly has been wanting that Fibber cannot tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth for sixty solid minutes.
What begins as a simple bet quickly becomes torture for the chronically embellishing McGee. Old Timer stops by selling ski lesson tickets, and Fibber must admit he's a terrible skier—too fat, too clumsy, hopeless. When a radio pollster calls, Fibber grudgingly confesses his own show is the best on the air. The real test arrives when the socially pretentious Mrs. Uppington drops by seeking an opinion on her new Parisian hat, and Fibber finds himself trapped between his bet and basic politeness as the clock ticks toward the hour's end.

Originally Aired: February 13, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #235, "The Lucky Ring,"
Fibber is eagerly watching the mailbox, waiting for a mysterious package that he promises will bring big things. When it finally arrives, he reveals his purchase: a genuine Egyptian good luck ring for only 39 cents. The ring supposedly grants prosperity through the mystical spirit of Amu Hote, activated by rubbing it three times while saying "Zwiggle, zwoggle, zwoggle." Molly is skeptical of the whole affair, dismissing it as kid stuff. Fibber's confidence in his magical purchase is immediately tested when neighbor Harlow Wilcox stops by with bad news about the car needing expensive repairs, and their sponsor calls with concerns.
Just when the ring's powers seem doubtful, a special delivery letter arrives from lawyers Corpus and Habeas announcing that Fibber has inherited 10,000 acres from his late Uncle Spud McGee of Pocatella, Idaho. Fibber is thrilled and credits the ring for his sudden good fortune, while Molly suspects it might be a joke. As they head to the lawyer's office to claim the inheritance, Fibber's string of bad luck continues with various mishaps along the way, leaving the ring's true power very much in question.