McGee and Molly

Spaghetti Dinner

Originally Aired: June 4, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #251, "Spaghetti Dinner,"
In this episode, Fibber McGee decides to host an all-male spaghetti dinner at his home, confidently declaring himself a master chef despite ample evidence to the contrary. At the corner delicatessen run by Mrs. Goldfarb, Fibber assembles an eccentric shopping list that includes everything from garlic and tomatoes to chocolate bars and ginger snaps—but nearly forgets the spaghetti itself. The Old Timer stops by and initially accepts the dinner invitation, but quickly changes his mind when he learns Fibber is doing the cooking himself, opting instead to take Molly to the movies.
Back at home, Fibber's kitchen preparations become increasingly chaotic as he fills a wash boiler with ingredients and uses golf balls as models for his meatballs. Molly watches with growing concern as her husband confidently dismisses her cooking advice, drops a cuff button into the meat sauce, and insists on using an egg beater for his recipe. When Mrs. Uppington stops by and discovers the stag party preparations underway, the stage is set for what promises to be a memorably disastrous dinner party.

Circus Comes To Town

Originally Aired: May 28, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #250, "Circus Comes To Town," finds Wistful Vista buzzing with excitement as the circus arrives in town. Fibber is eager to get to the big top, proudly clutching two free tickets he earned by allowing circus posters to be plastered all over his front door - much to Molly's chagrin. As they prepare to leave, Fibber reminisces about his alleged past as a "bull boss" with the Wagenback and Hollis circus outfit, though Molly seems skeptical of his tall tales. Their neighbor Gildersleeve stops by, sharing his own enthusiasm for the circus performers, particularly the trapeze artists and acrobats, even claiming he still has a spangle from a lady acrobat's dress.
At the circus grounds, the McGees encounter various colorful characters, including a vendor selling "punk lemonade" and a precocious little girl who's dutifully accompanying her father despite preferring to stay home with a good book. The child's world-weary attitude about the circus contrasts hilariously with the adults' childlike excitement, as she watches her father indulge in cotton candy and hamburgers while she plays the responsible parent.

Checker Game Deadlock

Originally Aired: May 21, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #249, "Checker Game Deadlock,"
In this episode, Fibber McGee and his neighbor Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve find themselves in an epic stalemate, locked in a checker game that has now stretched into its seventh day. The two stubborn rivals refuse to concede, camping out in the McGee living room surrounded by cigar stubs, coffee cups, and a week's worth of whiskers. Molly desperately tries to restore order to the chaos, pleading with Fibber to end the ridiculous standoff, but both men's pride keeps them glued to the checkerboard. When Mr. Plummer calls offering Fibber a day's work running his hardware and plumbing business for ten dollars, Molly seizes the opportunity to break the deadlock.
Despite Molly's misgivings about Fibber's qualifications, she accepts the job on his behalf, forcing him to abandon the game. Just as they're about to inform Gildersleeve of their departure, they discover he's fallen asleep from exhaustion. Fibber heads off to Plummer's store, bragging about his days as "Killer Driller McGee" in Peoria, while Molly tags along to supervise, clearly worried about what havoc her overconfident husband might wreak on the unsuspecting hardware business.

Fibber Turns Hose on Gildy

Originally Aired: May 14, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #248, "Fibber Turns Hose on Gildy,"
In this episode, Fibber is peacefully watering the lawn at 79 Wistful Vista when mischief inevitably strikes. After exchanging pleasantries with neighbors like Nick and the ever-inquisitive little girl who questions his scientific explanation of why grass stays green, Fibber spots his favorite target: Gildersleeve. What starts as playful banter quickly escalates when Fibber turns the hose on Gildy, thoroughly soaking the exhausted neighbor who's just had a hard day at the office. An enraged Gildersleeve retaliates by pulling out a knife and cutting the hose to pieces, only to discover he's destroyed his own hose that Fibber had borrowed earlier that afternoon.
The situation grows more serious when Mr. Wilcox arrives and warns Molly and Fibber that an angry Gildersleeve is threatening revenge. Molly worries about her husband facing the former intercollegiate boxing champion, while Fibber remains characteristically overconfident despite Wilcox's offer to have an ambulance standing by just six minutes away.

May Festival Play

Originally Aired: May 7, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #247, "May Festival Play,"
Fibber McGee has written, directed, and produced a medieval play for the Women's Club titled "When Knighthood Was the Stuff." As Sir Lancelot in a full suit of armor, Fibber performs opposite Molly as the fair Elaine, delivering stilted medieval dialogue filled with McGee's trademark mangled phrases. The plot reaches its climax when Fibber must battle the Black Knight, played by Gildersleeve, for Elaine's hand in marriage. Things get out of hand when Fibber enthusiastically wallops Gildersleeve with his sword during the fight scene, leaving a sizable dent in his helmet and knocking him cold.
After the performance, Mrs. Uppington reveals the play has increased the Women's Club deficit to a whopping 950 dollars, and an angry Gildersleeve demands satisfaction for being clobbered onstage. Fibber agrees to fight him man-to-man, but there's one problem: he can't figure out how to remove his armor. As Gildersleeve waits impatiently and various unhooking methods fail, Fibber realizes he may need to find a blacksmith while Molly holds a sword over his head as a makeshift lightning rod.

Fibber Becomes A Theatrical Director

Originally Aired: April 30, 1940
In Fibber McGee & Molly #246, "Fibber Becomes A Theatrical Director," Fibber receives an exciting telegram from the Chippewa Entertainment Bureau, accepting his application for a position as a stage director. The telegram congratulates him on his supposed associations with legendary figures like Belasco, DeMille, Reinhardt, Toscanini, and Minsky, and promises an immediate job assignment. There's just one catch: Fibber must wire fifty dollars to cover bookkeeping, postage, and other expenses. Overjoyed and convinced he's finally hit the big time, Fibber rushes to send the money before Molly can learn the details of his latest scheme.
Meanwhile, the snobbish Mrs. Uppington stops by to tell Molly about the Women's Club May Festival, where she has appointed herself Queen of the Maids. She mentions that the club has hired a professional director from the very same Chippewa Entertainment Bureau, also requiring a fifty-dollar advance. As Fibber prepares to wire his money with help from the Old Timer, the stage is set for one of his classic misadventures in show business.

How To Hang A Picture

Originally Aired: April 23, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #245, "How To Hang A Picture,"
In this episode, Fibber and Molly find themselves locked in a spirited domestic dispute over the proper way to hang a picture. Fibber insists the bottom should be at eye level, citing the expertise of a fictional Professor Roger J. Hemingway, while Molly counters with the authority of an equally fictional Dr. William Folteney Banderplug. Unable to resolve their argument, the couple decides to seek professional advice at the local art museum, hoping an expert can settle the matter once and for all.
Their quest for answers proves more complicated than expected. Along the way, they encounter the Old Timer, who offers his usual cryptic wisdom, and an overly intellectual artist at the museum whose elaborate explanation about psychic balance and aesthetic relationships only leaves them more confused. Mrs. Uppington makes an appearance at the museum, dripping with cultured superiority, as Fibber and Molly navigate the world of high art in search of a simple answer to their household dilemma.

Ink Stains On The Carpet

Originally Aired: April 16, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #244, "Ink Stains On The Carpet," Fibber accidentally shakes his fountain pen and splatters ink all over the living room carpet, creating an enormous mess. What starts as one spot quickly multiplies as McGee continues to shake the pen, making matters worse with each attempt. Determined to fix the problem himself, Fibber tries various harebrained remedies including the salt and milk method, which only succeeds in creating a soggy, discolored disaster on the floor.
As Molly frantically brings more supplies and the Old Timer stops by to deliver his usual commentary, McGee's increasingly desperate solutions grow more absurd. When he finally hits upon the idea of cutting the stained section out of the carpet to take to a chemist for analysis, Molly realizes her husband's remedy might be worse than the original problem. The episode also celebrates the show's five-year anniversary on the air for Johnson's Wax, with the McGees reminiscing about their rocky start in radio.

Homecoming

Originally Aired: April 9, 1940
In Fibber McGee & Molly #243, "Homecoming," the McGees are returning to Wistful Vista aboard a bus after their triumphant appearance on the Lux Radio Theater in Hollywood. As they approach town, still hungry and arguing over their last ham sandwich, they spot a brass band, streamers, and banners gathered at the railroad station. Fibber quickly concludes that the whole town has turned out to welcome them home as conquering celebrities. There's just one problem: the crowd is clearly waiting for someone arriving on the streamlined train, and the McGees came home on the bus.
Never one to let reality get in the way of glory, Fibber concocts a plan to sneak home, freshen up, prepare some modest speeches, and return to the station in time to disembark from the train they never boarded. Along the way, they encounter the delightfully befuddling little girl who engages Fibber in her trademark circular logic about Hollywood, washing, and whether such a place even exists. As the McGees rush to pull off their scheme, the question remains whether the homecoming celebration is really meant for them at all.

Property Line Dispute

Originally Aired: March 26, 1940
Fibber McGee & Molly #241, "Property Line Dispute," Fibber is hard at work digging a trench in his backyard to plant a new hedge when neighbor Gildersleeve arrives with an accusation that stops him in his tracks. Gildersleeve insists that Fibber is digging three feet onto Gildersleeve's property, claiming the lot line runs from the telephone pole in the alley to the slippery elm out front. Fibber indignantly denies the charge, and the two nearly come to blows before Molly sensibly suggests they hire a surveyor to settle the matter. Both men agree, though Fibber insists on finding the surveyor himself since he doesn't trust Gildersleeve. While waiting for the surveyor to arrive, the McGees receive a visit from a little girl taking a shortcut through their house on her way to buy meat for her prize-winning dog Margaret, who apparently ate too much of his ten-pound prize at the dog show and is now under the weather.